Holy Lacrimony

Jackie has been determined to be the "saddest living person in the entire world" by a mysterious team of alien abductors. His earthly musical celebrity is nothing compared to his emotional superstar status in the eyes of these curious and peculiar shape-shifters. Jackie is forced to perform his sadness over and over again on command, so his captors can study and master this very puzzling, very human emotion. Until just like that, Jackie is returned to his old life. Trying to comprehend what has happened, he joins a support group. It's a sea of conspiracy theorists, emotional vampires, and simpatico "real" abductees. As each person tells their story, he realizes he may never know.